Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
