the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize