so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He did a backflip because drugs
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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