so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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