This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
she peed on how many people?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
