He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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