is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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