she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
