On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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