i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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