she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
