Why are handjobs necessary in class?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
