Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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