youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
