the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
