I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
