The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
