No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize