Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Two words: nipple clamps
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