why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize