Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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