Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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