come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
