imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
this will be a night to untag.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
