do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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