you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
