dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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