having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
