it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
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