God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
