You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
