Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
