wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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