but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
