This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
