I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
