i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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