Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize