My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
