i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
