Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
