i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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