It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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