Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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