I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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