I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
