This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
