This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
