don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
