In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
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