i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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