She's JV to your varsity
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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