I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
