it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
