I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
