I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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