I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I had to cum in my sink.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
