I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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