Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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