who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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