I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
