Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
