no. you can't hotbox the world.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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