He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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