Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
