do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
