She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
