we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Randomize